As some of
you know I’m absolutely crazy about makeup!
Especially
the ones from MAC and Clinique, I have tried other brands but I always comes
back to these two as they seem to be the ones that fit me the best. Lately I’ve
discovered Bobbi Brown who seems to be a brand that would suit me well. I use
their eyebrow pencil religiously together with a couple of others from Lancôme
When I was young bands like Culture Club, Adam and the ants, Dead or Alive, Marilyn etc. was in
vogue
In the
beginning I didn’t use any makeup at all, but all my friends did, so to be one
of the gang I started using it as well. By time it turned out that I was quite good at
it. Actually to be honest much better than my friends.
On them you
could see that they were wearing makeup but on me nobody ever could tell,
sometimes I was wearing a ton of shit to hide a zit or two but not even
then was it obvious.
My only
mistake was my choice of mascara. I did to use one from Dior, I think it is
discounted by now considering this was like 20-25 years ago. The mascara was
gorgeous it gave you the most thick and long lashes you could imagine.
The thing
that gave me away was my glasses, now a days you can get glasses that prevents
your eyes from becoming extremely big, but in those days there weren’t any
options like that so whenever I was wearing glasses it looked like I had false
lashes on.
The late
80:s and early 90:s was enormously fun! You could dress like you wanted, wearing
makeup and in general be utterly hysterical in your choice of style. Perhaps that’s
why I love Ab Fab so much because it reminds me very much about how my life used to
be in those days.
When I was
younger I was quite insecure about how I looked, considering I had some scars
and other things that placed me very low on the hierarchy of beauty in the gay world. So when I discovered
makeup it was like finding the Holy Grail for me.
I couldn’t hide what was seen
as wrong with my face but I could amplify the good parts like my eyes,
cheekbones and eyebrows. So I’m sorry Kim Kardashian I was actually first with
contouring, sculpting or what the heck it is called for the moment.
But after a
couple of years I realized that I had developed an addiction, as I couldn’t even
go out to buy food without putting my “face on”. It didn’t help either that I had a profession
where I had to look nice and put together, and as a cherry on the top was working
extra as a makeup artist, trust me it is not a glamorous profession!
And like I said
above I was good at what I was doing. The MUA job I simply got by helping out a
couple of friends, and an agent happened to see me when I was working on my
friends and asked if I wanted to freelance for them.
I am sorry
if this comes off as bragging which really isn’t my purpose, rather the
opposite actually!
Makeup is
super fun but when it becomes something you hide behind, that’s when you should
consider taking a step back and re-evaluate yourself and the reasons for using
it.
I got out
of it because I didn’t want to participate in that “glamorous” world anymore; I
saw too much ugliness and foul play, not to mention all the drugs people were
taking to keep up with being able to manage their daily jobs and then party all
nights during the week.
So I went
from being quite popular and always on the lists to get in to whatever place that
was popular at the moment. I willingly admit that it’s very seductive when the
guard recognizes you and lift the ribbon and let you in before everybody else
standing in line…
But when I decided
that I had had enough I went from popular to persona non grata in just a couple
of months.
Through the
grapevine over the years I’ve heard that some of the people I used to hang out
with are now dead or more or less homeless because of drugs and other shit
So in
retrospect I am grateful for my decision to jump off when I did, despite the
hurt when I passed people I had considered my friends on the street and they
totally ignored me.
Even still today
some of them consider me to be some sort of a betrayer to what they considered
a golden life style and still try to live.
From time
to time I see them in a magazine and to be honest they look like crap, mainly
because of all the plastic surgery they’ve had plus the drug abuse that unfortunately
is quite noticeable
So like I said
I am highly grateful for getting out when I did!
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