Friday, August 12, 2016

Makeup, Kim Kardashian & Consequences

As some of you know I’m absolutely crazy about makeup! 

Especially the ones from MAC and Clinique, I have tried other brands but I always comes back to these two as they seem to be the ones that fit me the best. Lately I’ve discovered Bobbi Brown who seems to be a brand that would suit me well. I use their eyebrow pencil religiously together with a couple of others from Lancôme  

When I was young bands like Culture Club, Adam and the ants, Dead or Alive, Marilyn etc. was in vogue

In the beginning I didn’t use any makeup at all, but all my friends did, so to be one of the gang I started using it as well. By time it turned out that I was quite good at it. Actually to be honest much better than my friends.

On them you could see that they were wearing makeup but on me nobody ever could tell, sometimes I was wearing a ton of shit to hide a zit or two but not even then was it obvious.

My only mistake was my choice of mascara. I did to use one from Dior, I think it is discounted by now considering this was like 20-25 years ago. The mascara was gorgeous it gave you the most thick and long lashes you could imagine.

The thing that gave me away was my glasses, now a days you can get glasses that prevents your eyes from becoming extremely big, but in those days there weren’t any options like that so whenever I was wearing glasses it looked like I had false lashes on.

The late 80:s and early 90:s was enormously fun! You could dress like you wanted, wearing makeup and in general be utterly hysterical in your choice of style. Perhaps that’s why I love Ab Fab so much because it reminds me very much about how my life used to be in those days.

When I was younger I was quite insecure about how I looked, considering I had some scars and other things that placed me very low on the hierarchy of beauty in the gay world. So when I discovered makeup it was like finding the Holy Grail for me. 

I couldn’t hide what was seen as wrong with my face but I could amplify the good parts like my eyes, cheekbones and eyebrows. So I’m sorry Kim Kardashian I was actually first with contouring, sculpting or what the heck it is called for the moment.

But after a couple of years I realized that I had developed an addiction, as I couldn’t even go out to buy food without putting my “face on”.  It didn’t help either that I had a profession where I had to look nice and put together, and as a cherry on the top was working extra as a makeup artist, trust me it is not a glamorous profession!

And like I said above I was good at what I was doing. The MUA job I simply got by helping out a couple of friends, and an agent happened to see me when I was working on my friends and asked if I wanted to freelance for them.

I am sorry if this comes off as bragging which really isn’t my purpose, rather the opposite actually!

Makeup is super fun but when it becomes something you hide behind, that’s when you should consider taking a step back and re-evaluate yourself and the reasons for using it.

I got out of it because I didn’t want to participate in that “glamorous” world anymore; I saw too much ugliness and foul play, not to mention all the drugs people were taking to keep up with being able to manage their daily jobs and then party all nights during the week.

So I went from being quite popular and always on the lists to get in to whatever place that was popular at the moment. I willingly admit that it’s very seductive when the guard recognizes you and lift the ribbon and let you in before everybody else standing in line…

But when I decided that I had had enough I went from popular to persona non grata in just a couple of months.

Through the grapevine over the years I’ve heard that some of the people I used to hang out with are now dead or more or less homeless because of drugs and other shit

So in retrospect I am grateful for my decision to jump off when I did, despite the hurt when I passed people I had considered my friends on the street and they totally ignored me.

Even still today some of them consider me to be some sort of a betrayer to what they considered a golden life style and still try to live.

From time to time I see them in a magazine and to be honest they look like crap, mainly because of all the plastic surgery they’ve had plus the drug abuse that unfortunately is quite noticeable

So like I said I am highly grateful for getting out when I did!


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