It’s funny how the tiniest little thing can make you decide to take a quite drastic decision, even if it never was intended, or thought upon from the start.
I was talking to someone on the phone and that person said something unintentionally and that little thing made me realize once and for all that I am hanging on to selfish and uncaring people that doesn’t want any part in my life. And to be honest, I don’t think they ever have.
I don’t know about you, but I am one of those persons that can come to clarity in a blink of an eye.
It is like having a revelation of some sort... one second you don’t know, and the next you know exactly what needs to be done in a certain situation, and also how to do it!
And when you are done you feel like an enormous weight has been lifted from your shoulders!
Somehow I felt excited and liberated, but mostly relieved that I wouldn’t have to deal with these things that have been such a burden emotionally for quite some time.
What I am mostly grateful for is that my little hubby won’t have to listen to my endless talking about how to find a solution to what I thought was an unsolvable situation!
A talking that went on and on in circles, but never actually reached a desired answer. And then just bam, there it is just like a bullet between your eyes and you feel instinctively that it is the answer to your prayers.
Trust me it is not an easy decision, because no matter how you feel there will always be a bit sadness involved losing someone. Even if it wasn’t, or actually ever was what you thought and hoped it to be.
And this may sound crazy to you but somehow I can feel my mothers’ approval of my decision, despite the fact that she has been gone for over six months now...
Perhaps it is just because I knew how she was thinking and feeling, especially about these people!
Or as I hope, some sort of last looking after from the other side making sure that I am safe.