Where is the shore?

I remember hating this song mostly because it took a lot of work to get it right, but also because I’m not very fond of the original singer. So singing something by someone that you dislike is somewhat of a challenge, at least for me.  

In a few days it will be six months since my mother died and I’m still trying to understand that she is not with me any longer, maybe I should say us, but from what I’ve seen… I seem to be the only one really missing her.

A couple of days ago it was Mother’s Day and when I saw all the effing posts on FB with congratulations to mothers everywhere I totally fell apart.

Sometimes I wonder how much tears I have inside, it feels like an endless and horribly dark ocean trying to drown me. And no matter how much I try I can’t find any light that will guide me to the shore.

It’s scary that someone can live a whole life and in the end mean so little to those that one think would and should grieve. Is it really so easy to forget for some? Just turn a corner and someone’s life is forgotten and pointless?

While I’m still swimming in my private ocean, that threatens to drown me a little more every day…